TITLE: Awakening
AUTHOR: Christian
EMAIL: lonz@d.n-r-w.de
CATEGORY: Shipslash, Sam&Jack&Daniel
SPOILERS: None
RATING: PG 13
CONTENT WARNINGS: Mention of sex. Nothing graphic though.
SUMMARY: The day after ...
STATUS: Complete
ARCHIVE: Yes please
Home: Stargate Atlantis Pandora
DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. I have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Welcome to the birth of a new category called shipslash! Thanks to the Natty, every time we talk we come up with the weirdest ideas! Thanks to my love, without you I would never have written this story! Thanks to Angel Star for beta-reading and enduring what is *not exactly* a shipper-story ... :-)


Awakening

The light of the early morning was already working its way through the shutters when the two sweaty bodies finally parted and lay beside each other for some moments of heavy breathing. Jack stared up at the ceiling of his bedroom and tried to understand what had happened this night. It was difficult to explain with words - and he wasn't good with words anyway ...

The small, sweat-covered body beside him turned around and big glittering eyes looked up at him.

"How was I, Jack?", Daniel asked.

"You were good, Sam", Jack answered.

The words had slipped out of his mouth automatically. He hadn't even thought about it. No wonder. After this night he was hardly able to form a single clear thought any more.

Daniel raised his upper body. "Sam?" He didn't need to say more; the hurt in his voice said everything.

"Daniel. I'm sorry. It just slipped out of my mouth."

"Then you don't love me?"

"Daniel, I ..."

But Daniel had already stepped out of the bed and was heading for the bathroom. Jack stared after the blank backside of the archaeologist and realised that he still had very strong feelings for the young man. When Daniel shut the door of the bathroom with a bang, Jacks heart jumped. What had he been thinking?

He didn't know. He didn't know anything anymore! The whole world spiralled around him like a giant carousel and colourful painted faces were laughing at him. He needed someone to talk to. But hadn't it all started because of that?

Jack gave a resigned sigh and walked over to the bathroom door, slipping into his dressing gown. He knocked. And waited. Knocked again. When there was still no reply he slowly slid down the door and stayed sitting there.

"Why?" Daniel finally asked, through the door.

"Why what?" That sounded much tougher than Jack had intended and he mentally slapped himself. Fortunately Daniel continued the conversation.

"This night. It was so wonderful. We came closer than ever before, Jack. I thought ... I thought you would love me."

"Oh Danny, you know that I love you. I proved it to you tonight. Look ... I have no trouble admitting it: I - love - you."

"That's it exactly." Daniel sighed from the other side of the door.

"What?"

"Well, that you can say it just so. If you really loved me, it would be much more difficult for you to admit it. Your heart would beat in your throat and you would start to stammer. And then you would say it with much hesitation, as if you couldn't believe it yourself."

Jack was frowning: "You know, I'm no clueless little teenager anymore!"

"That has nothing to do with it, Jack. With true love it's always like this. It was like this with Sha're and myself ..."

"Sha're?"

"It's over, Jack, and you know that. Don't try to change the subject!"

"I'm not."

"Yes you are!"

"Well, yes, maybe. Alright then, it's easy for me to tell you that I love you. And that proves to you that I *don't* love you any more??? That's just crazy!"

"No, Jack, it isn't. You love me, fair enough. But after our first night together it should sound ... fresher. I just don't know how to explain it."

"There you have it!"

"But you called me Sam."

Jack cursed silently. Here they were again, his three problems. Sam. Daniel. Himself.

"Daniel, I'm sorry."

The archaeologist was silent for a while before he answered: "And I believe you. But what about Sam now? Do you love her?"

"Well, uhm ... it's not *that* easy."

"Ha!" Daniel called out. "There we have it! You have problems saying it!"

"I don't!"

"Then say it. Say it out loud! Say that you love her!"

"I ..." Jack hesitated. "I ... love her." He sat there completely shocked.

"There you have it." Daniel answered sadly. "You feel uneasy about saying it. You love her more than me."

"No!" Jack said. He was still amazed. "I love her! I have no problem at all admitting it!"

"Yeah, right. And what do you want to prove with that?"

"Nothing."

"What? Nothing?" Now it was up to Daniel to feel shocked.

"I love her." Said Jack. "I love Sam. I love Major Samantha Carter. I have no problem saying it. Because I *really* love her!"

"What???"

"That means your theory is bullshit, Danny-boy! I *love* her for real. I just didn't admit it to myself."

"But what about us?" Daniel asked with hesitation. "I mean ... we slept with each other, after all."

"Right." Jacks mood suddenly sank by a few degrees. " But that ... that doesn't mean as much. I'm sorry, Daniel. I really like you. I even feel myself a little ... attracted to you. But it's just a phase. An identity crisis. I slept with you, and it was great. And I don't regret it at all. But my thoughts were with Sam all the time."

Daniel didn't answer.

"I'm sorry, Danny-boy. Love is strange sometimes. But I'll be damned if I don't do anything to conquer her heart."

"And what about me?" Daniel was close to crying.

Jack stood up and knocked against the door once more: "Open the door now!"

Slowly the key turned in the lock and Jack and Daniel fell into each other's arms. Daniel was crying and Jack stroked the young mans hair. He knew he would do anything to keep the friendship with Daniel alive. Anything but denying his love for Sam. His true love.